When you lose two games in a row by a combined margin of 11, you're bound to get angry. When you're Andrew Zakaluzny from the Dinos men's soccer team, you take out that anger on some poor guy's crotch.
Zakaluzny, also known as "Diggler," scored two goals for the Dinos last weekend, one in a dismal 6-1 loss to the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds, and one in a 2-2 draw against Victoria. The Victoria goal was especially bizarre.
"It was the ugliest goal I've ever scored," laughed Zakaluzny who completed a thrilling Dinos comeback ten minutes from time. "The ball was sitting on a guy's crotch on the goal line and I started kicking him. It's not often you score a goal and get to kick a guy's crotch at the same time. I kicked it something like four times.
"I could feel the presence of everyone in the box just collapsing on me so I started to kick harder."
The crotch shot ended a three-game pointless streak and the Dinos put themselves in a position to clinch a spot in the Canada West Finals in Edmonton.
However, the Dinos are not in good shape.
"Sunday, it seems like every player on the pitch was yelling at [Head Coach Andy] Gibbs," said Zakaluzny. "The yelling matches were mostly when we were down 2-0."
Veterans Colin Smith, Brian Newmarch and Matt Houston all voiced their displeasure with Gibbs, though Zakaluzny stated that all parties reconciled their differences shortly after.
Next up for Calgary is a home-and-home against the basement-dwelling Lethbridge Pronghorns. Two wins would virtually guarantee the Dinos a spot in the Canada West Finals.
Matt Houston, the most popular man on campus, defeated Derek Zoolander in the Gauntlet's "Who is more ridiculously good looking?" poll with 90 per cent of the vote.