Features
the Gauntlet

Horoscopes: Chinese style

Publication YearIssue Date 

Want to know what the stars say about your future, but still think Western
astrology is a lot of hooey? Perhaps you need to try some traditional Chinese
astrology, with a proven track record of over 5,000 years. You may be able to
remember all the animals for all 12 years in the cycle, but do you really know
what your sign tells about you? Take a look...

Rooster (1969, 1981, 1993, 2005)
What you see is what you get. You are you, and you don't try to hide it.
You're straightforward, and you're not easy to stump. You like attention, so
you're concerned about your appearance--a lot.

Dog (1970, 1982, 1994, 2006)
No monkeying around for you. You're serious, and probably pretty smart,
too. You're honest, loyal and you know what you need to do in this world. At
a party, you listen but you don't talk. When you do talk, you tend to complain.
But when you complain, you have a point to make--you know injustice when you
see it. Evildoers and injustice beware!

Pig (1971, 1983, 1995, 2007)
You're the sign that signifies all things good. You're sweet, kind, loyal,
sincere and refuse to see anyone in a bad light. You're always there to help
out, which might make you look like a pushover, because you'd probably give
up your own well-being for the sake of a good friend--that's why everyone wants
you as their best buddy!

Rat (1960, 1972, 1984, 1996)
You're born with the sign of charm and aggressiveness. It's pretty tough
to catch you in a quiet state. You're a perfectionist, you sometimes come off
as mean and narrow-minded, but at least you're honest when you do. You like
to keep your problems to yourself--you might like to talk, but not about yourself.

Ox (1961, 1973, 1985, 1997)
As your sign suggests, you work hard and can stick to your tasks longer
than anyone else. You're stubborn and impulsive when angry, so when you're pissed
off don't be surprised if people take a few (thousand) steps back.

Tiger (1962, 1974, 1986, 1998)
You like to lead, or fight for the lead like nobody's business. No one
dares question your authority, but sometimes you're a tad too confident, and
it's hard to keep you down when you've got something to say.

Rabbit (1963, 1975, 1987, 1999)
You're the delicate one, handle with care. You're sweet, kind and gentle.
You're not easily provoked, you are compassionate and sentimental and also like
to share your problems--and since everyone loves you, you'll always have an
audience!

Dragon (1964, 1976, 1988, 2000)
You're hungry for power, since you're a born leader. You're smart, sassy
and dynamic, but unfortunately your mouth is faster than your actions, and you
also have a bit of an ego. If the Tiger's dripping the royal jelly, then you're
a waterfall of it.

Snake (1965, 1977, 1989, 2001)
Aren't you just irresistible. Like a true snake, you can seduce, lie and
cheat, and then you can get away with it because you're just that damn charming.
What's more, you're a naughty little beast romantically. Go figure.

Horse (1966, 1978, 1990, 2002)
You think fast, you're active and energetic and you love busy places. You're
also independent, a rebel with (or without) a cause, and nothing can hold you
down or change your mind. You work for you and you only, but in the long run,
what initially seems selfish may be for the good of all.

Sheep (1967, 1979, 1991, 2003)
You are creative, bound for the Guggenheim indeed! Sometimes though, you
obsess over what colour to paint. More oranges or more yellows? An artist, you
are peaceful and don't want to cause trouble, even if it means hitting all the
wrong notes. At least your civility and charm can get you out of the fire!

Monkey (1968, 1980, 1992, 2004)
This is your year monkeys, and it's a party in the jungle! You love to
be the centre of attention--no party is ever complete until you arrive. Since
you like to wear your emotions on your sleeve, it's easy to tell how you're
feeling. You like to look at the brighter side of things, and you are a great
problem solver and negotiator.

Section: 

Issue: