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The Lost Reviews

Speakeasy

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Describing an evening at the Speakeasy is not a simple task. The beer is the same as in any other club, the service is friendly, and there is a distinctive local clientele. And among the laborers, the barrage of high school boys, and the office types stepping in for a quick drink on the way home to the suburbs, there is a type of comradery seldom seen in Calgary's other establishments. Rarely is there a tussle over a lady, and the atmosphere is pleasant and carefree. There is music and dancing, a stage and a bar, pool tables and some video games all designed to help you unwind and make your stay at the Speakeasy as comfortable as possible. The the decor a 1920s theme, with part of the club made to look like a bustling street complete with houses and lampposts on the side. Of course the Speakeasy is not your normal kind of club and the dancing is accordingly different. It is solo, it involves a pole, and articles of clothing fly off one by one until all there is left is a naked lady with high heels and a smile.

The locals sit and enjoy, mostly sipping on their overpriced drinks, some holler loudly, others whistle and hoot, while the dancers strut their stuff on stage for everyone's enjoyment. The mesmerized audience first endures a dance of questionable artistic merit, cheers loudly as the performers execute acrobatic feats on the stage and on the pole, and then participates in games which I can't describe for fear a minor may be reading this review.

Each dancer gets four or five songs to entertain the audience, and after one is finished another enters the stage and the circle of life starts anew.

During busier evening hours there may be up to four performers on stage at the same time and the audience is four times as loud.

All of a sudden the lights dim, smoke covers the stage, and the theme from 2001 A Space Odyssey blasts through the speakers. The audience starts chanting "Shower! Shower!" at a frantic pace and through a trap door, some sort of water spewing contraction emerges in the middle of the stage. The entertainers then proceed to bathe themselves seductively in the water as the audience is in a state of wild euphoria. The loonies and twonies fly onto the stage and everyone seems very happy to be alive. Suddenly, as quickly as it appeared, the "shower" submerges itself again under the stage and the cycle begins again.

This seems to be the norm every night of the week except on Sundays, when the Speakeasy is home to a ladies night. This, unfortunately, I do not have the guts to review.

There is something for everyone at this club, and if you don't mind the high prices there is plenty of opportunity for a good time. Even if exotic dancing isn't your thing there are plenty of other means for entertainment, and the local kitchen is actually quite good with a basic bar menu available until late at night. The Speakeasy is not for everyone, but if you are an enthusiast of the striptease, or if you're simply in the mood, this is arguably Calgary's finest establishment of its kind.

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