New Gauntlet editors poised to take the reins

By Chris Beauchamp

In a stunning turn of events that bodes ill for all involved, the University of Calgary independent student newspaper elected to replace their two top editors with inexperienced candidates this week.

Current photo editor Chris Tait will replace outgoing–and outstanding–editor-in-chief Chris Beauchamp at the helm of the U of C Gauntlet, while news assistant Katy Anderson will attempt to fill the large shoes of current news editor Emily Senger.

“There is just no way I can put into words how disappointing this is, not just for the overall quality of the paper, but also in terms of the personal ambition and power-hungry greed each of the candidates exhibited in this race,” said current EIC Beauchamp, handsomely. “This truly is a black day for student journalism at the U of C.”

Although all candidates were equally unqualified to attempt to replace Senger and Beauchamp, the uneducated members of the Gauntlet Publications Society thought differently. In the EIC race, Taint captured 47 per cent of the vote, while nearest-competitor Kate Foote earned 38 per cent. Lucky for Rachel Betts-Wilmott, she came in at 15 per cent.

“It really is a terrible job,” said Beauchamp. “The pay sucks and our readership are still judging us for mistakes made by our predecessors. I’m really quite happy for Rachel.”

In the news race, Katy Anderson beat out Sara Hanson and Jon Roe, sports editor, with 41 per cent of the vote. Hanson earned 34 per cent for second place, and Roe had 25 per cent when polls closed at 8:30 p.m. MST, Wed., March 15.

“I can’t wait to get out of this shit-hole,” said Senger, between typos and chugs of beer. “Katy, you’re taking over this job tonight.”

On an unusual note, a failed events commissioner candidate from the recent Students’ Union general election wandered into the Gauntlet office in the run-up to Wednesday’s vote. He was able to murmur something meaningless about “promising to serve and represent students” before the merciless Gauntlet candidates tore him limb from limb and ate his heart.

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