Academic Probation

Student’s sandwich stolen by eagle

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On the afternoon of Sept. 14, fourth-year geophysics major Cayleb Graves had his lunch stolen from him by a large bird of prey. His sandwich, which had only just been purchased from Subway, was reportedly plucked out of his hands and carried away in the talons of the bird.

“I was just about to take a huge bite out of my spicy Italian sub, when I heard this terrifying shrieking sound,” Graves said. “Next thing I know my sandwich was gone, and an eagle was flying away with a sandwich in its talons. With my sandwich.”

While Graves was not physically harmed by the large predatory bird, the student was still emotionally affected by the traumatic incident in which his sandwich was stolen by a large eagle.

“The eagle stole my sandwich before I ate any of it,” explained Graves. “I was really hungry too. That’s why I bought the foot-long sub, instead of a six-inch sub like usual. I had to buy a whole new sandwich and there was a really long line. Because of the eagle stealing my sandwich I had to go back and wait for another eight minutes in the line at Subway.”

Eagles are known to prey on a variety of different animals, but usually do not show much interest in human food. Graves was perplexed by the eagle stealing his Subway sandwich, an incident which researchers are still struggling to explain.

“Is it going to eat the sandwich? Will it feed the sandwich to its chicks? I’m not sure,” said Graves. “I don’t know very much about eagles, outside of the fact that one stole my spicy Italian sub right out of my hands. It probably is going to eat the sandwich though.”

Eye-witness reports have identified the bird that stole the foot-long Subway sandwich as being a golden eagle, which range throughout the northern hemisphere. The wingspan of a golden eagle can reach up to 2.3 metres in length.