Sports

Swimming in apathy

Problems and solutions for the 2001 Dinos

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What rich irony is it we have seats in our gymnasium and no asses to fill them. What moron(s) decided the Jack Simpson Gym should have a 3,000 seat capacity? Oh wait, maybe the seats are there to add orange and blue to complement the rich collage of colours in our beloved Jack. Perhaps they're not there for fans after all.

It's sad to see another great year for the Dinos go mostly unnoticed. Our teams are doing quite well but there's no one there to see. The Jack, the Red Gym, McMahon Stadium; they're all devoid of that most elusive of University of Calgary commodities--fans.

Whose fault is it? Do the gymnasiums smell funny? Are the players are so grotesquely ugly that fans purposely turn to other avenues of entertainment? Maybe the Dinos don't like other people and get mad at those who show up at their games. All this stuff sound ridiculous? You wouldn't really know, would ya? You're never there.

There are three parties to blame for the current situation: the fans, the SU and the Dinos themselves. Each deserve some grief and believe us, grief they will get. We'll make this rant easier on the eyes and break it down a little for you. But hey, maybe we shouldn't call it a rant. Maybe this is an academic discussion of the issues facing our beloved Dinos in the new millennium. Yeah... that's it. Seriously, we bitch a little but we offer some solutions. Cool solutions, too. Ones people should read, admire and implement, all while smacking themselves on the head saying, "Damn! That was so easy. Why didn't we think of this?"

Here's how it's going down. The grizzled and bitter sports editor Kris Kotarski will point out some problems facing the Dinos and the U of C campus. Playing the role of the hopeful young buck hell-bent on improving the situation will be basketball writer Lawrence Bailey. Whether you agree with us or not, we hope you enjoy--and let us know what you think. Email us at gauntlet@ucalgary.ca. We crave attention (and fans).

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