2006-01-19

    
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  2006-01-19

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January 19, 2006
  Cat-a-clysmPDF files may take a moment to load

Cats are dirty, dirty sluts. A cat out on its own is likely to have sex with every other cat it meets. With this unscrupulous amount of feline fornication come millions of kittens. "Everyone loves kittens, the world needs more kittens," cry the people! Alas, this wish has already been fulfilled. In fact, there is a surplus of cats in the world. There are more cats than there are people who want to care for cats. Some may propose a controlled slaughter is in order. Well, the truth is that such a genocide is already happening.

January 19, 2006
  Spam is people!PDF files may take a moment to load

Spam has once again rocket launched its annoying foot into my collection of heartfelt emails to Melissa O'Neil. But something has changed. In and amongst my usual plethora of "RX MEDS GUARANTEED TO LENGTHEN YOUR PENIS THREE FEET IN TWO HOURS!" and links to dozens of beautiful Japanese women who want to "Have fun good joy happy bare!" with me, a new sort of e-terror has invaded under the guise of university correspondences.

January 19, 2006
  F+ still not a real gradePDF files may take a moment to load

Editor, the Gauntlet,

[Re: "F+ not a real grade," letter, January 12, 2006]

Yes, the team had talented members who have done some great things in the sport. No, the team didn't win any games. At all. Last I checked, a team was evaluated on their track record, not their achievements with other teams, in other places, with other people. I do agree it was a cutting remark to dish out a grade of "F+," but take it with a grain of salt.

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January 19, 2006
  Come, come KamalaPDF files may take a moment to load

Interested in learning about a different culture? Want to know how to help women and children in Nepal? If so, then attend A Night at the Bazaar, the Kamala Foundation's official launch party, Sat., Jan. 21.

January 19, 2006
  Den smoke-free by fallPDF files may take a moment to load

Patrons who enjoy a cigarette and a cold beer after class will have to go somewhere other than the Den by September.

The University of Calgary Students' Union voted unanimously to ban smoking in the popular campus bar effective Sept. 1, 2006--over a year sooner than the City of Calgary's own smoke-free deadline of Jan. 2008.

SU Vice-President Operations and Finance Joel Lockwood stressed the plan carries risks for the Den's bottom line, but said it was the right thing to do.

January 19, 2006
  He who's shit slings furthest laughs lastPDF files may take a moment to load

Primates operate in a society close to that of human beings. In gorilla groups, there can only be one dominant silverback to guard and lead the entire group. When the dominant silverback is challenged by another male for leadership, there is often a struggle which can involve chest-beating, strutting, tearing up plants and shit slinging until one male emerges as the victorious leader, and the others recede into the background to plan their next attack.

January 19, 2006
  Rez students moved around for renosPDF files may take a moment to load

The need for urgent renovations to Cascade Hall has displaced has displaced a number of residence students.

The project, which should be finished as soon as February, was a result of damage that occurred underneath the building. Residence Services Director Joel Lynn stressed the importance of the problem that caused a total of six students to be relocated.

January 19, 2006
  Fancy footballPDF files may take a moment to load

Dino Dan Federkeil will dress for the 81st East-West Shrine Game, held this year at the Alamodome in San Antonio, Texas Sat., Jan. 21. The game features the best of the U.S. college footballers along with the occasional Canadian.

Federkeil, joined by Andy Fantuz of the University of Western Ontario Mustangs, will be Canada's 43rd representative at the game since we first appeared in 1985.

Federkeil, a defensive end, is the ninth Dino to receive the honour.

The game will be televised on ESPN at 2 p.m.

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January 19, 2006
  Playing for pride not workingPDF files may take a moment to load

Returning from an unfortunate encounter with the University of Alberta Golden Bears over the weekend, the Dinos men's volleyball team saw their season from hell come one step closer to its conclusion. With the playoffs firmly out of reach, the team is playing for experience and pride through the last few matches.

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