This week we roll out the red, stained and disease infested carpet for our balls-out (no pun intended) crossword. Seriously it should work. Well not all of it, but it was a valiant effort if I do say so myself.

Hints:

ACROSS (Those are the lines on the horizontal axis)

1. Dogs invented this whimsical technique of sex that captures the minds of human males.

Despite the apparent controversy, profiling of DNA within the country has lead to a quadrupling of crimes solved through using this DNA technology.

The recent attempt to overhaul a seemingly sound University of Calgary program has proven difficult, marred with student and faculty complaints. The fall 2005 semester saw the Universal Student Ratings of Instruction move completely online, causing student response rates to plummet from an average of above 60 per cent to less than 35 per cent.

"I'm not sure what happened," admitted Associate Vice-President Academic Dr. Robert Woodrow. Woodrow chaired the USRI review committee that designed the online program.

Controversy plaguing a LAW 403 final exam has provoked reactions of defiance and calls to reform the rules around exam administration.

The controversy occurred after the December 13 final for the first year legislation, administration, and policy class when it was revealed the professor had reused questions from an old exam. The test, previously used in 1990, was available at the library on reserve and it was alleged some students brought in the old exam and copied the answer.

Smokers will have one less location to light up on campus this spring.

A Graduate Students' Association discussion at their representative council on Wed., Jan. 25 resulted in a vote to ban smoking in the Graduate Lounge, effective May 1, 2006.

"The ongoing discussion of a smoke-free university has prompted this decision," said GSA President Christine Johns. "It was a motion brought from the floor by a council member."

At least 140 University of Calgary students living in residence this year won't be back in 2006/07, as part of a new plan to restructure residence enrollment.

When a coach sums up a season with descriptors such as "fallen off the turnip truck" and "unbelievably annoying," it is fairly evident that something has gone horribly awry. Anyone in attendance at the Dinos men's volleyball team's matches Jan. 20-21 could attest to that. The squad hosted the second-ranked Trinity Western University Spartans and it wasn't pretty.

University of Calgary Students' Union President Bryan West received an unusual honour from the Alberta government last week.

West was awarded an Alberta Centennial Medallion for his "outstanding work, achievements and volunteering efforts for the people, communities and province of Alberta," according to an invitation letter from Calgary Fort MLA Wayne Cao. The medallion was accompanied with a Certificate of Alberta Centennial Recognition.

Usually seeing snapshots of someone's Christmas holiday in Mexico is never exciting, but this time, it was inspiring.

Thirteen University of Calgary students made the 36 hour bus trek down to Juarez City, Mexico, to build a house for a struggling family. Known as 'Project Amigo,' the initiative was spearheaded by U of C Chaplain Centre Director Kelly Johnson.

Bulletin boards around campus will soon be plastered with more than just posters of scantily clad woman inviting students to trendy nightclubs.

The campaign for the Students' Union General Election begins Mon., Feb. 6 and SU candidates will cover the walls with their posters in hopes of winning votes when students cast their electronic ballots.