You're either reading this because it's BSD, the Gauntlet has come out and you are drunk, or you are procrastinating and decided to read the Gauntlet in its entirety or you just love my writing... maybe not.

Editors, the Gauntlet,
Re: His Children Comic, April 5, 2001

In his comic strip, Derek Sweet makes three supposedly contradictory statements, none of which are actually contradictory. I will show how in fact it is Sweet's own statements that are contradictory.

Louis Armstrong once asked, "What is jazz?" and answered that question by saying, "If you still have to ask... shame on you!" He's right. You only have to sit before a live jazz performance to know what it's all about. It speaks to the soul. There is nothing like the low, yawning bass lines, the steady rhythm of the drums and spontaneous horn solos followed by the receptive applause of a mellow audience.

It's been fun--seriously, it has. Even though you see me running around all stressed out, and even though I curse, yell and threaten all of you, it's been a blast. Gauntlet sports editor is the funnest (is funnest a word?) job on campus because of you. Not you, the reader. I like you too, but not as much as I like my dedicated staff of volunteers. So before sports-writer extra-ordinaire Ryan Laverty takes over for me and starts quoting his mom in every story, I have a list of thank-you's to write.

Early risers and sleepy students adverse to Monday mornings were surprised to see the Company's Coming kiosk boarded up in MacEwan Hall early this week. The kiosk, located beside the Delhi Deli's former location, is currently under renovation.

The Company's Coming renovations are directly related to the new tenants in the old Delhi Deli location.

"They're opening a new place, Pastels, where the Delhi Deli was," said University of Calgary Students' Union Vice-president Operations and Finance Matt Lauzon.

Graduate Students' Association President Viola Cassis did not break any GSA bylaws by having a letter of support in a CFS pamphlet, according to a ruling by the judicial board of the GSA. The bylaw violation complaint lodged by graduate student Ray Novak is invalid.

The board ruled four to one that no bylaw violation occurred.

An open letter to incoming University of Calgary president Harvey Weingarten:

Congratulations on your appointment and welcome to what is going to be an extremely difficult and challenging job. We're sure you've received all kinds of unsolicited advice recently, and if you don't mind, we'd like to offer you just a little bit more. As the voice of the students at the U of C, we'd be remiss if we didn't.