The first week of classes is not about buying books or finalizing schedules it is about identifying the Village Idiots in your classes. As the semester progresses your hatred and intolerance will grow and you will be forced to skip classes in order to avoid committing murder. In response to this phenomenon I have developed a guide to classifying and dealing with the Village Idiot(s).
Definition of the Term
Village Idiot is an all encompassing term which describes the moron in your lecture who compares the sinking of the Titanic to the holocaust or the person who insists on asking preposterous questions like "So you mean to say that Shakespeare wasn’t just a fictional character played by Joseph Fiennes?" No matter what course, what department or what year, Village Idiots are everywhere. Please note that Village Idiots are most commonly found in the form of the adult student who thinks anecdotes about their pre-university lives are relevant to every discussion.
Origin of the Term
I have to admit that the term Village Idiot is not my own. The terminology in this context was developed by a friend in order to describe specific individuals who are a recurring annoyance in every lecture.
How to Deal With These People?
They cannot be avoided so instead embrace the Village Idiot(s) in your life. Allow them to entertain you, to make you feel smarter, and most of all exploit them by swapping stories with your friends. There is nothing better than telling a good Village Idiot story only to find that the same vi was in your friend’s class last semester. Newsgroups and TLF’s are also an excellent place to anonymously address such people or if you are a cocky bastard like me openly roll your eyes, laugh out loud, and then proceed to the Newsgroup or TLF’s.
Conclusion
So now you are ready to begin the school year, to wander the halls of the parochial degree churner, to exchange knowing glances with your classmates after the Idiot speaks, and to always hope that the idiot is not yourself.