By Вen Li
Democracy sucks. As much as we would like to believe otherwise, the “democratic” system practised today in Canada and just about every other Western nation is simply feudalism in a nicer package. To see this clearly, some introspection is necessary.
Canada is ruled by Emperor Chrétien. Through his 13 great barons and his royal court of ministers and their civil servants, our Emperor grants us suburban and downtown fiefs. He also enforces our monetary fealty to our local vassals, lest the dark Knights of the Canada Customs and Revenue Agency make an example of us.
For our eternal servitude, we are allowed our "choice" of paramount lords every fourth winter, but only from the list blessed by dukes and princes and happen to be the only ones trumpeted by the Emperor’s personal heralds. But we, like the serfs of old, do not choose our Emperor, ministers, or barons directly. Instead, we must choose lords from the five Royal houses, who do not necessarily represent their protectorate serfs but most often speak only for the benefit of their respective houses.
While the house with the most support chooses an Emperor; the other houses and their supporters get no control at all. They merely get an audience with the Emperor, during daily shouting matches at the Commons.
Compare this to the vassals and nobles of yore whose manors were valued by the Emperor and barons for their labour, harvest and conscripts even if the noble himself was not in direct support of the Emperor. Those serfs, vassals and nobles could at least protest by withholding their servitude and elect to face the consequences. We have no such choice. If we dislike the deeds of noble Day or Sir Martin of LaSalle-Émard, we can do absolutely nothing about it until the next federal choosing.
Now, let us compare this system with a democracy found in Indonesia, or perhaps India. First, these nations are not perpetually governed by the same few parties. No single group has enough power to govern by decree, and representatives are compelled to vote the wishes of their constituents, corrupt as they may be, and not according to the weak and often fleeting parties.
Second, there are no dynasties, no obvious heirs, and fewer coattails for lackeys to ride on. Representatives and leaders succeed or fail based more on what they do for their constituents and less on what political, corporate, or media party they belong to at the time.
Lastly, media in these nations must go to great lengths and at great risks to themselves to expose the truth about their governments, lest they become infatuated with one party and sink with it.
While it may seem chaotic to us serfs in the West, the constant bickering and power shifts in emergent democracies ensure that everyone is represented, and gets their way, at least some of the time.