Real words can’t describe soccer Dinos

By Kris Kotarski

Normal words can’t illustrate what the Dinos women’s soccer team did to the visiting Regina Cougars during their debut games in Canadian Interuniversity Sport play this weekend.

That’s why I propose we make up a new word. Death + demolition = deatholition.

The Dinos deatholized the Cougars 8-0 on Saturday afternoon and followed up with a 7-0 deatholizing on Sunday. Forward Katie Lee did her best Patrick Kluivert impression and put four balls past Regina keeper Collette Detersin in the first game of the CIS season. She "only" managed two on Sunday.

"That’s more than I’ve had in the last two seasons," smiled Lee, after Sunday’s blowout. "It was a good way for us to start. We got goals from all over the field."

Aside from Lee, Leanne Pelosi had two markers and could have had at least five more on Sunday alone as she deatholized the Regina net all day long. Only her apparent friendship with the posts and crossbar prevented her from matching Lee’s stats for the weekend.

Coming out of their first two games, the biggest question mark for the Dinos is goaltending. While everyone agrees that reigning Canada West Most Valuable Player Taryn Swiatek is a stellar keeper, no one has actually seen her make a save this season. Being deatholized and all, Regina had trouble shooting, passing, running, breathing, talking, and getting past midfield. Swiatek didn’t actually have to make saves to get her first two shutouts of the season and she spent a large portion of each game standing outside of her 18-yard box admiring the furious pace of Calgary’s attack.

Next up for the Dinos is a road trip to Edmonton and Saskatoon to take on the University of Alberta Pandas and the University of Saskatchewan Huskies. Alberta knocked off the Dinos in last season’s conference semi-finals (2-1 on bloody penalty kicks) and Calgary looks forward to getting some revenge against our depraved and bloodthirsty northern neighbours.

"We look forward to playing everyone," said Lee. "But we gotta go lay the smackdown on Alberta."

G-G-G-Goal notes:

According to Head Coach Robin "Slot Machine" Slot, it is difficult to judge how well the Dinos will do this season after their first two games. The Cougars are new to the CIS and it’s no surprise the Dinos blew them out in impressive fashion.

Midfielder Jessica Horning made her debut for the Dinos in Saturday’s game and got her first CIS goal.

Forward Hema Chengkalath sat out the weekend with a hip injury but will return to action when the Dinos take on the U of A on Fri., Sept. 14. Her blistering pace, as well as her sneaky five-foot frame, should allow her to squeak past Alberta’s offside traps at will.

Next home games are Sat., Sept. 22, when the Dinos face the University of Victoria and Sun., Sept. 23, against the University of British Columbia. Both games are at noon at Foothills Athletic Park.

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