By Andrew Ross

If the USA men’s national soccer team had a mascot, it could only be Rodney Dangerfield. More than any other, this is the side that gets no respect. But why? The Americans have skilled players such as keepers Brad Friedel of the Blackburn Rovers and Kasey Keller of Tottenham Hotspur, who are both playing in the English Premier League.

They have more than enough nationalistic fervor, especially in the current political climate. They may not make it to the finals this time around, but soon enough, the Americans will come to dominate soccer as they have come to dominate every other sport.

Soccer is starting to catch on with the American public. It is becoming more and more popular amongst children–the key to ensuring a future supply of players. Furthermore, the rise of American soccer will only be hastened by the death of professional baseball scheduled for this autumn.

Just think of all the disenchanted baseball fans looking for a new sport, of all the baseball sponsors looking for somewhere to put advertisements, and of all the baseball-playing kids looking for heroes to emulate. It’s either soccer or George W. Bush.

Clearly, the American nation equals domination.

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