Soccersaurs shamed by Golden Bears

6 bloody 0? 6 #$%@ 0? I don’t even know where to begin.

The Dinos men’s soccer team got taken to the woodshed twice this weekend, first by the Saskatchewan Huskies (who suck) and then by the University of Alberta Golden Bears who murdered them 6-0.

The Dinos began their weekend with a 1-0 loss to the Huskies, a team they should have beaten soundly. Last week Head Coach Andy Gibbs mentioned Lethbridge

and Saskatchewan as two teams the Dinos had to beat (read: “had to beat” ’cause all the other good teams in the conference will beat them too, probably by a lot).

So what happened? Let me give you a hint: it rhymes with “pit” and starts with an “s.” Keeper Thomas Farkas did his part and kept Saskatchewan to one goal but the Dinos attack was non-existent. Calgary got out-chanced by a five-to-one ratio, which leads me to

conclude that either the Dinos did not try, did not care, or all the players got their sisters to play for them that day.

Now you would think a loss like that would be a wake-up call.

Wrong. Just two days later, the Dinos lost 6-0 to Alberta. “So how do you lose by half a dozen?” you ask. Really, there is no answer. That score implies that Calgary doesn’t belong in the same league as Alberta–strange, since the Dinos have played well until this point in the season. From all accounts, Calgary’s performance was about as motivated as an unflushed toilet and stunk just as bad as one.

The players and coaches did not have a single positive thing to say about the game, and if they had, I

would have called them a bunch of liars.

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Alberta’s Eric Pinnell scored three goals in the rout (shame on him for running up the score like that) and exposed two different Dinos keepers along with countless Calgary defenders.

For the second game in a row Calgary strikers did not show up, which begs the question, “if a midfielder knocks the ball up, and it goes out of bounds, did he pass it at all?” Of course, that question makes the assumption that the midfield exists in the first place.

Really, I don’t know what’s wrong with this team. The Dinos squad who beat the University of British Columbia (in an away game) two weeks previous is a distant memory now. Today’s Dinos have a lot of thinking to do, but fortunately for Calgary, the playoffs are still in reach. Last time I checked they don’t take away points from teams for a loss, even though they should have made an exception for last weekend’s no-show.

G-G-G-Goal Notes:

The Dinos now have a weekend off to regroup for two big games against the University of Victoria and UBC. Calgary slipped to fourth in the Canada West Conference after their losses against Alberta and Saskatchewan.

Due to the lack of performance on the field, Dinos’ midfielder Matt Houston is stripped of his title of “most popular man on campus” for the duration of one week. Calgary wrestler Jeremy Rudack takes over the duties and responsibilities of said position because his team did not lose to anyone from Saskatchewan or get beat 6-0 by a team from Edmonton.

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