The BDSM crowd either considers the traditional public to be seriously undersexed or a very excitable bunch. Either way, people are certainly passionate about the things that arouse them. To be clear, fetish is the term used to describe any object, act, part of the body etc., that causes an erotic response or
fixation. This can be whips, chains, belly buttons or toes. While sexual fetishes may be disquieting to someone who doesn’t share them, they are usually harmless.
I won’t lie: being kinky and single is tough. As hard as it is for vanilla people to find a suitable mate, finding the perfect sexual deviant is even harder. First, kinky singles have a smaller pool to choose from. There are definitely fewer kinky people than straight people. Secondly, ‘kinky’ rouses so many different (often negative) responses that a lot of kinky people would rather not date than bear the rejection of someone who cannot understand their needs.
Everyone is different. Some people live BDSM and others keep it strictly in the bedroom. In other words, although the ‘scene’ can provide the opportunity for kinky people to socialize through organizations and clubs, you don’t have to join to be involved. Wherever you go, there
will always be people of different walks who have a passion for kink.
Bïœ|D is a prominent part of fetish culture. Through locking buckle cuffs, collars and dungeon furniture people of all eras have
come to delight in the sensation of immobilization and the power of control. Although this seems paradoxical, many say
that erotic captivity liberates the person who’s tied up. Bondage fans generally agree that one of its main attractions is that it allows them to embrace a more primal, sensual and sexual being inside themselves. Physical restraint relives them of the normal mental restraints–whether it is body related self-confidence, insecurity about the ability to satisfy, or any other sex related anxiety that humans share.
The person tied up is rendered powerless to cover themselves and is vulnerable to their partners caress. In surrender, they turn all responsibility for passionate responses to their partner. For a dom, the rush comes from the vulnerability and helplessness of their partner. A dom feels a rush of pride and even triumph over someone who has surrendered control to them. The feeling of power becomes their intoxicant.
Sïœ|M is made up of people who generally do not define themselves as doms and subs, but rather as people who pursue kinky sex for the
physical sensation. They want to be aware of their physical plight at every second. Expressions of Sïœ|M can incorporate whipping, spanking and bondage
that includes hog-ties (wrists and ankles bound together), suspension bondage (where the masochist would be hung by the wrists, ankles or both), or bondage that does not necessarily immobilize, but that clamps and compresses. Corsets and nipple clamps, for example, can be classified as compression bondage.
The number of bondage devices that people have used throughout history could fill an encyclopedia. Over the centuries creative minds around the globe have fashioned thousands of different devices to restrict, immobilize, compress and otherwise control a person’s body. Heavier forms of bondage include techniques such as an ornate form of rope bondage, that has developed as an erotic art for centuries among oriental cultures (particularly the Japanese), and puts special emphasis on aesthetics. Others include mummification and suspension, which
are perhaps the most misunderstood and visually alarming forms of bondage. During mummification, the person is completely encased in latex, leather, Saran Wrap, etc., with only breathing holes. During
suspension, the person is bound by strategically placed harnesses and holds, raised off the floor and disciplined accordingly.
Another aspect worth mentioning is that of body modification, piercing, pierced-suspension and play piercing. Briefly, pierced-suspension is performed by lifting a person with hooks inserted through the
skin. This type of suspension is more often described as a spiritual experience rather than an erotic one and is not for the weak stomached.
Play piercing is the technique of inserting needles underneath the skin for erotic pleasure, now a powerful feature of Sïœ|M. The gauge of the needle dictates the amount of sensation felt, the bigger the needle bore size the greater the sensation. It can take up to 40 minutes to place 24 needles, which usually stay in for five to ten minutes.
Fetishes and extremity vary between people. Some people love the feel of fingernails gauging at their back, others enjoy role-play and some cannot be happy unless they are bound and begging at the feet of their dom. If you’ve decided to explore your fetish, text is a good place to start. Then if you’re ready, check out a kink party. Unless there is a stated dress code, casual clothes are perfectly fine. Avoid pastels, and leave your pocket protectors at home. However, as most parties do have an enforced dress code, dress accordingly! Clubs will not make an exception for you. Wear all black with any leather accessories you can find. Other options include uniforms, army camo,
undies or lingerie and heels. Expect to see all manner of dress. Pre-arrange transportation. Take it from me, there’s nothing worse than being garter-belt-deep in Calgary’s snow while all of your piercings frost over.
A final note on safety: If you’re in a position to be hurt, the only thing that’s going to stop it from happening is the inclination of the person wielding the power. “No” is meaningless in the face of someone who wants to do something to you. This practice should be between you and the companion you know and trust.