Mull Historical Society

By Myke Atkinson

Ever wanted to release a typical UK singer-songwriter album? Well now you can! Just follow these 5 simple steps:

1) Play a lot of piano, those crazy Brits eat that shit up. It’s supposed to make the music feel more dramatic than it really is.

2) Write lyrics that repeat one line over and over throughout the verse, followed by lyrics that rhyme no matter how bad they are. Example: "You want it you got it/Then say that you saw it/You want it you got it/Then say that you saw it/You want it you got it/Please say that you saw it/A weirdo a weirdo a weirdo falling."

3) Use every single instrument you can get your hands on, it doesn’t matter whether or not it fits with the song. Just remember this: extra instruments = extra indie cred.

4) Credit yourself with every instrument that you can play, or can’t play for that matter. This becomes extremely important when the press is covering you, as they can call you a "multi-instrumentalist." Example: Colin MacIntyre – All Vocals & Clucks & Whistles, Piano & Keyboards, Electric Guitars, Acoustic Guitars, Bass Guitar, Drums, Percussion & Bell Tree, Vibraphone, Bicycle Bell, Dictaphone Samples, Fruit Bowl.

5) Design the CD and booklet to look like you graduated from some trendy art school and are constantly scribbling out the pains of your tortured soul, because being a pretentious art snob is cool over in the UK.

If you need any more information, please buy Mull Historical Society’s new CD, Us.

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