‘Geer forums all wet

By Ben Hoffman

Engineers, always eager to show off their different ideas, shed new light on the stale ritual of student election forums last Friday.

Election hopefuls ranging from academic commissioner candidates to presidential ones were paraded in front of curious engineers and were on the business end of a water gun at the weekly Piss On Everything Tomorrow’s Saturday meeting Fri., Feb. 6.

Candidates were asked to do such creative things as express their platforms as haiku and carry on conversations without using the words "be," "vote" or "candidate." Punishment for failing to adhere to these rules was a quick spray of water or forced consumption of a bottle of beer.

Kicking off the forum were Academic Commissioner hopefuls Ashley Martin and Lauren Arab, with a game of rock-paper-scissors, after which they were allowed to give a brief summary of their platforms.

"I’m hard working and I have a lot of experience," said Martin.

"I’m a student of mechanical engineering, and I can represent you guys very well," said Arab.

Next to talk was Board of Governors hopeful Scott Appleby. Appleby was asked what he would do as BoG representative.

"The biggest thing would be, instead of talking about the tuition decision on decision day, bring it up once or twice before that," he said.

As a follow-up question, Appleby was asked which Newton’s Law was his favourite.

"I’m a big fan of gravity," he said. "It’s what is keeping this beer in the glass."

Next was Robbie Schuett for Vice-President External, Alex Vyskocil for VP Events and Laura Schultz for VP Academic. They were asked to explain their platforms in the form of a haiku.

Vyskocil was the first to try and his silence was met by a shot from the punitive water gun.

"Robbie Schuett is the right choice for External," Schuett said and was sprayed by the water gun for not forming a proper haiku.

"Vote now, Laura Schultz, for VP Academic, I have the ver–," said Schultz, who was also sprayed with the water gun.

Next up was Events Commis- sioner candidate Mike Corbiel. Corbiel had a beer chugging contest with VP Operations and Finance hopeful Angus Campbell.

The next part of the forum was for VP Op-Fi hopefuls. Attending alongside Campbell were Greg Clayton, Jarrod Fuhr and Ian Smedley. The candidates were joined by the current Students’ Union VP Op-Fi Gavin Preston and SU President Jayna Gilchrist for a drinking game called Hoe-Down. The candidates shouted variations of the word "yeehaw," and had to drink when they didn’t follow suit properly.

The final part of the forum was for the presidential candidates. Attending were Sonja Bloomer, Bryan West and Phil Barski. Their platforms were presented alongside an engineer-themed spelling bee.

Barski was asked to spell Euler, the name of a noted Swiss mathematician, which he spelt as "oiler."

Bloomer was asked to spell asphalt, which she spelled "asphfault."

West was asked to spell mass spectrometer, which he spelled "mass-spector–," and did not finish.

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