This week we roll out the red, stained and disease infested carpet for our balls-out (no pun intended) crossword. Seriously it should work. Well not all of it, but it was a valiant effort if I do say so myself.
Hints:
ACROSS (Those are the lines on the horizontal axis)
1. Dogs invented this whimsical technique of sex that captures the minds of human males.
3. Cop a __________. (Hint: sounds like eel and every guy over the age of nine has tried this at least once)
4. A ‘do-over’ in the game of golf and has been known to work in bed.
6. Rusty __________. (Hint: think brass instrument)
8. Tons of creepy over-the-top commercials about this friendly and oh so common STD.
10. Some use a wooden spoon, while others may use leather paddles.
11. Chicago _______tie. (Hint: could be a crude sexual act or a charming penguin suit ornament)
DOWN (Those are the lines on the vertical axis)
1. ____________ Sanchez. (Hint: Think Christina Aguilera and a questionable album she made a few years back)
2. Cleveland ____________. (Hint: Sounds like beamer and may be a form of transportation)
5. “Do you like to do it yourself?” “If the mood strikes me.” (Hint: 40 Year Old Virgin)
7. Slang for boner? Also a funky grab you can perform while snowboarding.
9. Yet again another STD clue. Now you’re probably wondering which way I will go with this one. I could take the classy path and insert a witty remark about the harm of STD’s or I could use a wise cracking, borderline offensive term that is uncalled for. Well folks, unfortunately it is the latter and the clue is “THE CLAP.” Now that’s classy. Come on, it’s humourous, just laugh. Do it, laugh.