Spun: Ted Nugent

By David Crosby

In five decades of music, one would assume that an artist like Ted Nugent would have run out of his perpetual pissed-offness venom, and yet somehow he still manages to bite like a pitbull. Despite his well-publicized politics—which some have deemed “insane”—it’s hard not to think his single “Love Grenade” doesn’t rock. Even though his lyrics haven’t progressed beyond a necessity for grade six reading comprehension, the real heart of the Nugemeister is his ridiculous guitar sound, which is so wild and loud it was last seen flying somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, due to touch down on the coast of British Columbia any day now.

The sleeper hit on this record has got to be “Girl Scout Cookies.” What makes this song so great is its bare-faced honesty.

Initially, it’s assumed that the song is sexual innuendo, but the twist is that Ted Nugent actually just likes Girl Scout cookies. “I like to eat my Girl Scout cookies/ I could eat them all night long.” Provocative, until the verse comes: “The coconuts just drive me wild/ I buy my cookies right from a child/ that peanut butter gits [sic] stuck to the roof of my mouth.”

In a world of wimpy orchestral pop and failed Britney Spears comebacks, Ted Nugent manages to kick ass in a way only he knows how. Thankfully, he kicks ass hard.

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