Grin & Barrett: The other 70 per cent

By Lesley-ann Barrett

I just started seeing this guy and I really like him but I’m not sure how into me he is. I’ve seen all the tests in the magazines but I want something solid. I know body language is a way to read a person, but what are the signs? What should I look for? Jane

To discover that 70 per cent of what we say is actually nonverbal makes you think about that interview you had no chance with and landed or that first date you only wish you could forget. With 23 per cent of what we say dedicated to diction and tone, physical speech makes up only seven per cent. People determine an impression of each other within 30 seconds by analyzing how they present themselves. Romantically speaking, nonverbal cues can be a resource to evaluate the future of the relationship. Some of the nonverbal signs women show to state their interest is hair toss, head tilt and/or lip licking and biting.

Other signs are controlled subconsciously, like increased heart rate or dilated pupils, even sweating a bit more when you’re near your crush.

If he is interested in you there are a couple other signs he may give off to express it, you just need to know what to look for. People interested in you will subconsciously open their bodies to you in a number of ways. Lifted shoulders occur as an involuntary response to the person you like that illustrates a softer more submissive side. The hand reach is another, say you’re at dinner and they’re subtly presenting their hand to you (palms up) with fingers pointing at you, this is your invitation to get closer. The forehead bow is a pretty seductive sign too, bowing the head slightly forward and looking up at the person from under the eyebrows is sultry and mysterious, with eyes that are telling you their guard is down and they are riveted. Mirroring or mimicking also occurs when someone is into you. When their gestures, voice patterns and tones start to reflect yours, this is a good sign.

Unfortunately, this does not work with all body language. Just because you want your date to mimic you when you go to grab a handful of their treasure doesn’t mean they’ll follow suit; people still possess that invisible barrier of personal space of usually around 20 inches. You need to be invited into that space and when they start to find reasons to touch you, like an arm around you or a hand on the thigh, you can pass go and collect your $200 dollars.

If you can detect any of these signs coming from this guy you keep moving towards, he is that into you. Sometimes we don’t always say things the way we mean them, your body helps you with expressing how you feel and gives us cues for others to read. Most of what we say comes from our gestures, so make sure when you’re listening to someone you really listen, and more importantly, watch what they are trying to tell you. They are saying a lot more than you think. Good luck and I hope he says all the right things for you.

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