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Paul Baker/the Gauntlet

The buzz on the fuzz

Campus Security reach startling conclusion: drunks are stupid

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After a grad student responded to Campus Security inquiries with public urination and a driver, who nearly ran down a visually impaired man and his guide dog in a cross walk, gave a campus infrastructure staff member the finger and told them she was in a "fucking hurry," security officers have reason to look forward to a quiet summer.

In January, security was called to deal with an intoxicated man refusing to leave the grad lounge. When officers arrived, the man went out to the grad lounge balcony and began urinating. Refusing to listen, he proceeded to climb the balcony's plexiglass barrier. Officers were able to pull him back down and he was eventually persuaded to take a taxi home.

Another drunken disturbance occurred at the Den when two intoxicated males were ejected by staff. One was very aggressive to Den employees and Campus Security, taking off his shirt and shouting threats. Calgary Police arrived and he was arrested. His friend was driven home by police after talking with them.

Also that month, a man attending a concert sprained his ankle. While removing his shoes and socks for concert EMS to aid him, a bag of drugs fell onto the ground. The man ran to the bathroom and flushed the bag down. Campus Security issued a trespass notice after the man revealed that the bag had contained cocaine.

"Drugs are frequent enough at these concerts that event staff will have a pail or bucket set aside where substances can be thrown into a pail of water and destroyed," said campus security director Lanny Fritz.

Security was alerted that a male in the women's washroom was using a "mirror-like" device to look into the stalls. The man was still in the washroom when they arrived.

"This involved a male individual from off-campus," said Fritz. "He was apprehended and police were called. The police ended up seizing some of the devices carried in his pockets. The investigation is continuing as far as we know."

Though February had less class days than January, it still managed to squeeze in some bizarre escapades.

Officers were called by campus infrastructure staff when a young woman in an SUV narrowly missed a visually impaired man and his assistance dog at a crosswalk. After catching up with the woman, who was on her cell phone, the staff member tried to get her attention.

The woman eventually responded by sticking up her middle finger and screaming that she was in a "fucking hurry." The woman was issued a ticket.

"The information was forwarded to [parking services], who [have] the authority to issue a ticket for traffic infractions," said Fritz.

A group of two men and one woman were found passed out in their vehicle in the Art Parkade. Campus Security tried to rouse the group, but none of them responded. Calgary Police were called and all three were taken into custody.

Security has also been busy preparing for Bermuda Shorts Day and the challenges posed by its new location.

One change for this year's event will be the addition of five bicycle police, who will be able to cover more ground than officers on foot. Given this BSD's location, they could prove a valuable asset.

"Logistically, it is going to be a little more of a challenge to have security patrols because the campus population will shift and vary as they go to and from the venue and therefore our concerns on BSD will be a little more spread out," said Fritz.

The new location, in lot 32 adjacent to Crowchild Trail, will also employ two eight-foot construction fences to prevent students from entering the busy road.

Security will be placed in the no-man's-land between the two fences. Checkstop police have also been invited. Overall, Fritz is confident that the event will go well.

"We just hope the weather holds out to be an enjoyable day for all students who choose to celebrate," he said.

Total loss due to theft and damages in January was $21,479 from 139 incidents. It was $10,570 from 88 incidents in February.

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