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Dancing on glowing tiles in front of a screen is so much more fun than dancing with other people.
the Gauntlet

Dance puppets

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rom the same people who brought us Sony and animated porn, a new abomination has arisen, a daemon so foul its name alone brings shudders to many.

Dance Dance Revolution proves once and for all that there really is an East-West cultural front.

For the fortunate uninitiated few, DDR is one of those Japanese "life fantasies" (games for people lacking lives). It's as though some ingenious bastard woke up one morning and said, "I'm going to make it so I can really live through my computer games."

Imagine what would happen if you brought a clubbing crowd into an arcade--this is the bastard product of that fateful union.

The Japanese seem to have a knack for making games for people who have to have a screen between them and the practices of the outside world. Virtual dating, train conducting, even being on a diet are just some of the twisted, ungodly video games to come from this disturbed culture.

Whoever thought jumping around on a coloured pad could be fun? Come on, the good old US of A did it right by making the pad game involving body-contact and horizontal game-play, contributing to all sorts of hopeless guys getting laid since 1969.

And to think North American arcade-goers have adopted this abnormal practice into our culture. I feel like Charlton Heston at the head of the Stature of Liberty. I feel betrayed.

We have spent decades building up wholesome, gaming fun, blowing shit up with big nasty guns, only to have it all crash down at the appearance of flashy, rainbow lights and the constant beat of techno pounding against the heads of bewildered quarter-pumpers. This intrusion is about as welcome as a three-foot-high light switch mini-rave in my basement with kids so fried you could cook off of their skulls. Oh boy.

However, for the few to whom this humiliation sounds good (pity on your souls), go get your heads examined. If the doc claims you're sane, then be my guest, fuel the insanity.

The question then begs to be asked: what will they come up with next? Virtual showering? Sorry kids, I'd rather play naked twister with your momma.

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Comments

I've been playing DDR for 4 1/2 years now, and I consider it a hobby like any other. Dance Dance Revolution is not about dancing, it is about stepping to a rhythym - the vast majority of people who play the game understand this simple fact.

If I were a parent, I would prefer my child to be doing something active that helped to develop coordination and rhythym, over sitting inactively for for hours killing cops, or something of the like. (I realize some people do enjoy these games, but I don't see much merit to them in terms of anything other than entertainement, and even at that I think it's a negative form of entertainement.)

The basis of good journalism is in being able to remove one's bias and try to see both the positive and negative opinions and aspects of something for what they are. In this case, I am disappointed to see that there was little, if any effort made to make this anything other than a personal, uninformed rant.

On a closing note, I'm not sure that Adam Singer would appreciate having his picture attached to such an article...did he know how this was going to be written when it was taken?

I agree with Crono, this writer fails to see both sides. DDR I think is a challenging game and a large majority of the population can't do it because it does take practice. The writer probably couldn't play the game!

I agree with the above...if this guy's going to write something he needs to learn how to not be biased. DDR is extremely fun and only those who can't or are too afraid to do it say its THAT bad.

Im all up for freedom of speach press and what not and everyone having their own opinions, however when something like this happens every so often i snap. I like some of the other users who have posted play ddr, i have played it for more then a year but whatever.. you sir need to stop with your idiotic attempts to seem "Cool". ddr is about having fun, coordination, rhythm, and exercise. as for your "decades building up wholesome, gaming fun, blowing shit up with big nasty guns" What is this DDR going to do that poorly made war games havent already done? NOTHING! one series of games can not ruin an entire decade of games. I love shooting shit as much as the next person but you have to consider, everyone has their own opinion on different things, but you dont see all of posting them around in a disgusting manner. As for you feeling "like Charlton Heston at the head of the Stature of Liberty. I feel betrayed." are you stupid? so you dont like this game. dont play it. dont even look at it. you see someone playing it turn away. thats all. no need to post anything. heres some advice for you, next time you have a thought like this... just let it go, dont say it, dont type it.. just let it go. "a daemon so foul its name alone brings shudders to many." this i doubt highly, from seeing what i saw from a DDR competition i had the pleasure of seeing, people are fascanated. you are the one that needs your head checked.