If I were ever to set foot on the pseudo-grass in McMahon stadium I would likely be nude, drunk and fleeing security. But I'm an extraordinary human being. For the ladies of the Dinos women's field hockey team, the field has played home to tryouts since their return from a U.S. tour Aug. 28. After a grueling trial, the team members have been selected.
Now in reverse alphabetical order, announcing the 2004 rookie lineup: Lonneke Speur, Christen Robertson, Lauren McDougall, Allison Crawford and Jessica Bush.
Speur is new to Canada and believe it or not she has left the land of legal prostitution and drug use to study law here. She has been most impressed with the team's efforts on the field.
"[In Holland] they don't practice so hard," she remarked.
Her role on the team will be that of a striker. And by striker I don't mean a whiny member of a union with an oversized sign stating how much they hate their lack of benefits/pay.
Robertson and McDougall will be patrolling the land in front of the net as defencewomen. And you were thinking I wasn't PC.
"I'm really excited to have a chance to play with them, there's lots of leaders," Robertson said of her teammates. "I'm looking forward to going all the way with them."
Crawford will be joined by Bush as the team's new forwards. See, look at how super anti-alphabetical order works out.
"The sports teams are a lot more intense," Bush has discovered since entering the kingdom of university life.
This year's team will be taking on Canadian Interuniversity Sports' top two field hockey teams in regular season play, the University of Victoria Vikes and the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds. But Head Coach Anne Kromm has high hopes.
"We'll be at our strongest this year," she boldly predicted.
She cited the number of fourth- and fifth-year players and a strong crop of rookies as reasons the team should excel this year. With such a mighty lineup, Kromm has a primary goal she'd like to achieve this year.
"Win CI's, isn't that the only goal?"
I like to aim low so that my goals are achieved without much effort. The field hockey team on the other hand will be on some cliched cloud number if they take the national title as they haven't even had a shot at it in ages. They are traditionally bumped out of the two available playoff spots by the powerhouses at U Vic and UBC.
Bush had one thing come to mind when I mentioned the two schools. She'd like to "kick their ass."
You heard it here first.
The girls' season consists of three tournaments and makes a stop in Calgary Oct. 8-10. So why not show up and yell support to the girls wearing cool Dinos gear and funny mouth guards. Just make sure you keep your pants on at the field.