A new school year means new students and therefore many awe-inspiring stories about just how dense very drunk people can be.
The September Campus Security report tells many of these tales of drunken student mischief.
One of the earlier mishaps occurred when 27 students crammed into an elevator in Rundle Hall and proceeded to get it stuck. Many of the students were intoxicated and began to panic due to the heat and close quarters.
"That was interesting," said Campus Security manager Lanny Fritz. "We had to get the fire department, EMS and elevator technicians to respond and we successfully got them out."
Only a few were treated with minor injuries.
Chair theft was on the list of other drunken incidents.
"We found a male in Swann Mall carrying a chair from Craigie Hall F Block," said Fritz. "He was very intoxicated at the time but he agreed to take it back."
Apparently, sober people had some troubles as well.
"We had a bike that was reported stolen from an 11-year-old at family residence and he found his bike locked to a bike rack," said Fritz, noting a student decided to keep it for his personal use around campus.
"The police had a little chat with him and he gave it back," noted Fritz.
Two speed skaters also collided at the Olympic Oval, one suffering severe lacerations to his upper leg. Campus Security attended the situation until EMS arrived and took him to the hospital.
On Wed., Sept. 11, a faculty member was talking with others outside her office when someone walked in and stole her purse. She managed to get it back and called Campus Security but the suspect left the area before they arrived.
Half an hour later, Campus Security received a phone call that the suspect had been apprehended by Calgary Police. A vigilante student had witnessed the confrontation, followed the man onto the LRT, and called police on his cell phone.
"The student identifies himself, points out the bad guy, and he is arrested," said Fritz, noting the culprit had an extensive record for such offenses.
On a more frightening note, a female was attacked and robbed outside Cascade Hall Wed., Sept. 27, but no updates have been made yet.
"It is still considered an open investigation" said Fritz. "She's received a lot of support, both from the university and her family."
In order for students to stay safe, Fritz mentioned a few tips: stick to lighted areas, walk with a buddy, have your keys ready in hand before you get to your car and park in lighted areas.