Opinions
The Gauntlet

A new marking methodology

Kris can see the future—and the future is beer

Publication YearIssue Date 

School is a sham. My marks last term became a function of my effort-my knowledge or intelligence had nothing to do with it. This situation begs the obvious questions: Why go through the charade at all? Is there a point to attending university when I can correctly predict my grade point average by mid-November with an accuracy that would make Nostradamus blush?

There are three alternatives which would solve my problem-a problem shared by many fellow lemmings here at the University of Calgary.

Solution one is easy. Dropping out would take care of the feeling that education is useless and there would be no more guilt associated with missing class. More time for beer, the opposite sex or flying an airplane.

Solution two is intriguing. I could become a keener, hell-bent on obtaining knowledge at all cost. Books could be my opium and the library my domain. I could master six, maybe even seven classes per semester, whiz through school faster than a drunk driver in rural Texas, and get four undergraduate degrees in six years.

However, solution three is definitely the way to go. Instead of going through the pain of lectures, midterms, or quizzes which seem to come weekly, I could just talk things out with my educators. I knew what my marks were going to be before any of my professors ever did so why couldn't we work something out? I could have had a meeting with any one of my profs to sort things out before things became stressful.

Me: "Good afternoon sir."

Prof: "Hello there student. What do you think you deserve this term?"

Me: "Well sir, I will attend about half your lectures this term and I was planning on doing the paper the night before. Given the degree of difficulty and my previous knowledge in the subject matter, I think I deserve a 'B.'"

Prof: "That sounds fair. Are you sure you don't actually want to do the term paper and challenge for an 'A'?"

Me: "Nah. I'm going to the Den."

Prof (chuckling): "Cheery-o then. Have a good Christmas. I'm going to work on my book now-I think I'll make it a required read next year."

Me: "Sounds great sir. I look forward to skimming it."

And that would be that. No pain, no stress, just a lot more free time to do something worthwhile.

Feedback on this article can be sent to opinions@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca

Tags: 

Section: 

Issue: