Spun: The Salads

By Jon Roe

In the delightful world of salad dressing there are many magnificent flavours. There’s the scrumptious Italian, the sensational Catalina and the fine French. Then there’s ranch. Ranch doesn’t deserve an adjective like other salad dressings, as it doesn’t reach nearly the same heights, nor does it cause the same flavour explosion as any of its cousins­. It goes great with snack food like potato chips and buffalo wings, but as a dressing for salad, ranch leaves something to be desired. The Salads are the ranch of the musical world.

The Salads clearly have a lot of energy behind The Big Picture, and would be a perfect flavour for a frat party, but it’s fairly uninteresting for the average consumer. The songs blend together, and nothing really stands out. The guitars chug along, blending with the high-hat-heavy drumming, jiving with the scratchy vocals until it all congeals into a weak dipping sauce. In the end, The Big Picture fails to set the Salads apart from anything currently offered on mainstream rock radio.

Ranch isn’t a disgusting flavor. It just won’t blow your mind.

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