Stupid is as stupid does

By Robert Myroon

Often we make stupid mistakes in our lives and we must learn the hard way, educated from our own faults. Yet sometimes we are granted a gift and the dummy sitting next to you–or maybe a fool from miles away–uses that thick skull of theirs to tutor the rest of world. The only thing we have to do is listen.

For example, a 19-year-old man decided it would be a great idea to take his car and fly down the highway at 225 km/h. Though it likely wasn’t the brightest move ever, others have preceded him. However, the foolishness continues further: he taped his wild ride and then decided to show this, and himself, to the world on YouTube.

Somehow the police got ahold of the video and now the unnamed man has been arrested. Sergeant Scott McLachland in London describes the situation best, stating “to post a recording of such driving on the Internet is entirely stupid… [and] completely foolish behavior.” Well put.

Nobody’s really sure what he was trying to prove. Perhaps he was attempting to demonstrate that he’d win in a drag race between himself and brick, or maybe he was trying to show cars can indeed go really really fast. Whatever his motive, there is an important lesson here to remember as classes settle in.

Now let’s be clear, I’m not telling you to stop doing unwise things. Let’s face it, we all are a little dense from time to time and periodically–sometimes with a little help from our friend Jack Daniels–regretful actions can take place. Regardless of how many times we are reminded to avoid such events, they will still happen and such a request to stop them altogether is ludicrous.

Just don’t keep any evidence of this happening, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t broadcast it to the world either. Maybe the audience is part of the problem, egging on the eggheads of society for our entertainment. But the blame clearly cannot be laid on the side of those who merely observ, so peer pressure is off the hook.

I’m sure there are those out there thinking this would never apply to them and slough it off as nothing. For the older students, you might remember an incident a few years back involving somebody who we’ll refer to only as “Darwin.” Although the exact details are unknown except to those involved, the story goes something along these lines: a group of guys, possibly drinking, find a girl, who was probably drinking too, at a C-Train station, only to bring her back to rez and tape themselves, well, with her. A LimeWire upload followed, and we can now see how close to home these sorts of things are. The result is that Darwin is no longer attending the U of C.

Be forewarned though, I’m not just talking about reckless stunts such as the ones mentioned above. Carelessness happens to everyone, even that four-eyes playing games on his high school TI-83. Everyone can be a victim of not only pulling a dim-witted move, but also ‘taping’ evidence for the world to see.

Example: if you’re going to play hooky at work one day, use an untraceable excuse. Avoid picking an illness with lingering effects, or half way through the day you’ll forget you had a massive head cold yesterday with a nasty cough that keeps others at a distance. This will surely be noticed, and then you’ll have to deal with the real headache of being fired. And no, I’m not telling you the best excuses, because then you’ll know when I blow off your lame party for something better.

So while we are going to try to keep the brainless actions to a minimum, our speed-demon friend shall always be remembered when irrational action takes place. The events cannot always be prevented, and they will take place- there is no doubt about that. Just remember denial soon becomes your best friend, so long as no hard evidence exists of that idiotic move you just pulled. Eye-witnesses can be dealt with, but avoid evidence of that too, if you catch my drift.

Stay smart. If you can’t, avoid showing the world what you’ve done because that’s just not smart.

See? It’s a vicious circle.