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Allison Cully/the Gauntlet

Threesomes: part deux

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The last time we got together I wrote more for male readers and discussed the two women, one man combination of threesomes. Now I would like to help out the women and look at another variation of this three person sexual escapade. This brings us to the two men, one woman combination and, for lengths sake, we will paint the picture with an existing couple and a male invitee-- if you are a woman who enjoys being the centre of sexual attention this may be for you. This combination happens far less frequently than the two women, one man version. Some believe this may be because men instinctively want to spread their seed as far as possible and having sex with more than one woman helps carry on their legacy. But it could also just be plain old horny thrills that drive them to fulfill this fantasy.

Ladies, it may be awkward for you if this is your first time, but even the most daring of us are uneasy when trying something new and exciting. If you're sure this is something you want to do, just relax and have as much fun with it as you are ready for.

You, as the single gender in the group, have the option of being the dominant or submissive player. Either let the men know what they can do to please you or make them tell you how to please them. As mentioned in the first part of this article, those of the same gender (the men in this case) need to be comfortable with the fact that body parts and fluids are inevitable, being shy or grossed out can ruin a good setting. Toys should not be shared without being properly cleaned first and that means with a toy cleaner. Don't use dish or hand soap for something that goes inside your body. Condoms should definitely not be shared.

Threesome etiquette applies in this scenario as it did in part one, however, this time with two men and one woman, it is the invited that should get first dibs with the woman, not the partner. This will help break the ice and get rid of any awkwardness from being with a stranger for the first time before things really start to get interesting.

I bet someone has asked why anyone would want to have a third person brought into their intimate sexual relationship. Do you remember how sex was when you first hooked up with your partner? The descriptions that come to mind might be "intense," "magical" or "exciting." If you have thoughts about having a threesome, then maybe you are both yearning for those feelings again. Communication and trust are the strongest bonds in any relationship, so use these strengths when talking about a threesome for the first time. Be honest with how you feel, the best part about exploring your sexual fantasies is that you learn what things arouse you that you may not otherwise have realized, while continuing to strengthen the bond with your partner. Happy humping.

Questions for Lesley-ann can be sent to sexpert@thegauntlet.ca

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