U of C supports Tim Hortons tacover, tells cultural diversity to suck it

By Nowua Jose

Somewhere deep in the greens of the Mexican jungle the world’s saddest mariachi band is playing the world’s saddest song as thousands mourn the death of what they deemed a cultural institution ­- a land mark that acted as a catalyst between two North American countries striving for understanding and tolerance.


Speedy Gonzales himself could not save the University of Calgary Taco Time from its ultimate demise- it is soon to be replaced by the stereotypical and offensive Canadian coffee shop Tim Hortons.


“¡Ay, ay, ay, no es bueno!,” commented Bumblebee Man, who planned to order the two enchilada beef platter with black beans, mexi-fries and diet soda- hold the cheese, but was turned away with a giant white wall, not unlike those that separated Germany and China.


The boarded up Taco Time is symbolic, as the barrier between Canadian and Mexican relations has now become almost impossible to penetrate.


“Taco Tuesday was what kept the relationship with my Spanish friends strong,” said Patty Fiale, a third-year biology major. “Without tacos what do we have? Bull fighting? I don’t think so.”


The concern has resonated with the academic community as well, race relations expert Dr. Strangeglove echoes Fiale’s sentiments, “Having access to Mexican fast food enables those who are unfamiliar with the culture to create a discourse about it, thus dispelling discriminatory tendencies, and the cheap cost of the food helps dilute


stratification- hence the popularity of Taco Tuesday.”


The news comes at a sensitive time for Mexicans as they are still mourning the loss of sexual icon and spokeschihuahua


Gidget- the voice of a generation and an inspiration to millions.


Viva gorditas my friends, viva gorditas indeed.