Sports
They are both going for the ball, but I would imagine the Horns player wants it more, due to the fact that they are probably losing at this point.
Gareth Williams/the Gauntlet

Women's Soccer: Dinos demolish dastardly Pronghorns

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Aren't we working towards a world where inequality has been virtually abolished?

Perhaps instead of looking to help the third world, we should be examining the animal kingdom. In a recent clash between dinosaurs and pronghorns, the prehistoric beasts netted nine times their opponents' total earnings.

Imagine if this were acceptable in our society. Look to your left and think about the person beside you earning $90 per hour as you earn $10. So long as you haven't busted a cap in their ass just yet, don't worry. Here at the University of Calgary we came out on top as our Dinos women's soccer team handed a pair of embarrassing losses to the University of Lethbridge Pronghorns Sept. 23-24, out-scoring them 9-1. If the cap was already busted you'd better throw this paper down and run.

The carnage began on Sat., Sept. 23 in Lethbridge with the Dinos on the board just seven minutes in. A Lindsay Burrowes corner kick found Katie Blundell, who found the back of the net. But because you can't crush a team's fantasies until you've given them hope, the Dinos let a tying goal in before the first half was through.

Our ladies dangled the win over the Horns' heads like a fish over a dead cat. But, like a dead cat, the U of L didn't bite. A goal from Andrea Hayes in the 68th minute put the Dinos back in the lead and a late mark from Burrowes secured a 3-1 win.

After throwing the dead cat onto a bus to Calgary, the teams

see SOCCER, page 31

met again on Sun., Sept. 24 for the Dinos' first home game of the season.

"We expected them to be especially rough on us," commented second-year Cayla Scavo following the game. "We had to come out hard because we let them in yesterday."

The Dinos did come out hard, keeping the dead-cat-like Pronghorns in their own zone for much of the game. Scoring started early again, with Stephanie Hoogveld redirecting a gorgeous pass from Hayes 18 minutes deep.

The Dinos, realizing it was too late to give a dead cat hope, kept the pressure on, adding two more goals by half time. Blundell made quick work of knocking in a free kick awarded to Erin Harris and Scavo's super sprinting speed allowed her a breakaway goal.

With this lead, the Dinos could have sat back and played a defensive game--much like a chess nerd when you try to blitz his king. However, being carnivores hungry for more, they managed to put in another three goals before the final whistle blew.

Rookie forward Morena Ianniello wowed the crowd, who roared loud and wondered "how'd she score those two goals?" Slipping one in between Ianniello's goals was Brittany Benson.

"It was not so much control," Dinos head coach Robin Slot said of the Dinos' grip on the game. "We were finishing much better and creating chances."

Thus, with the now 4-1-1 Dinos scoring nine goals on the weekend and the Pronghorns only one, the inequality is blatant. However, if all sports teams were equal, it would be pretty pointless to watch and since other teams are bad and the Dinos are good, you should come watch their home matches against the University of Manitoba Bison Sat., Sept. 30 and University of Regina Cougars Sun., Oct. 1. Games begin at noon on the west varsity soccer pitch and Slot hopes to see more of the same slaughterhouse Dino style.

"We want to maintain consistency," he explained. "We need to keep creating the chances and putting them in."

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