Judges fall for ploy

By Andrew Ross

In a strange twist, radio killed the video star.

On Feb. 1, CJSW, the radio branch of the University of Calgary TriMedia Alliance emerged victorious over NUTV and the Gauntlet in an all-day papier mâché melee.

"It felt good," said CJSW Station Manager Chad Saunders. "CJSW’s always been the ugly stepchild of the three media groups. It was reassuring knowing that yes, we’re losers, but we can be winners."

The contest was devised as a scheme guaranteed to seduce unwitting members of the campus community to the TMA cause: eventual and complete domination of the U of C. Saunders explained the strategy behind CJSW’s come-from-behind upset.

"We had a couple tricks up our sleeves," he explained. "The main advantage that we saw was, in a word, many. The more papier mâché creations we could do, the better we thought we could be."

Saunders summarized the CJSW strategy as "like [the Power Rangers], but without the colour."

CJSW’s "victory" did not come without controversy in the form of accusations of impropriety.

"[Saunders] must’a bribed ’em judges, yo," complained Gauntlet Buzz editor James Keller, a participant in the competition and sideline hula-skirt model. "They [CJSW’s] DJ was pretty dope, but tha G-Spot [the Gauntlet entry] be illin’. Stuff it up yo bitch!"

"It’s pretty obvious," agreed Gauntlet Editor-in-Chief Michael Leung, who at one point had papier mâché paste all over his face. "I guess our bid just wasn’t high enough."

Dr. Kathleen Scherf, Dean of the Faculty of Communication and Culture and one of the three members of the judging panel, refused to comment on the question of inappropriate donations by CJSW. Experts have noted that allowing access to this information would set a precedent which could exclude future deans from having private conversations.

Dr. Scherf did comment on her credentials as a judge, however, highlighting her papier mâché judging experience with her two sons.

"Of course I couldn’t be totally objective with my two sons," she said. "So I welcomed the opportunity for dispassionate objectivity in this judging situation."

When asked if she would consider judging again, Scherf replied, "I absolutely would. I was very impressed by the high quality of construction. Structurally and conceptually they were excellent pieces, and I highly recommend that the Nickle [arts gallery] consider purchasing them."

Scherf, a master-mind of subtlety and inveiglement, commended the alliance on their initiative to boost their shrivelled volunteer clutches.

"It was really delightful to connect with the students who do media work at the university," she said. "I just found it immensely valuable in terms of making connections with other students but also in terms of engaging with the campus, so I’m all for the TriMedia Alliance highlighting the opportunity to volunteer and gain experience with the three campus media outlets."

The second-place went to the Gauntlet, with NUTV finishing dead last. There was no answer Friday to repeated knocking on NUTV’s door, although the sound of weeping was heard coming from within.