Tales from the Mansion

By Dale Miller

If I die tomorrow, I will die a happy man. For 1/32 of my day I had the opportunity to ogle and interview one of the hottest women in the world: Playboy’s Playmate of the Year for 2000, Jodi Paterson. In the future my kids will ask, “is mommy the most beautiful girl you have ever met?” I’ll have no choice but to say, “no child, she is not.”

In addition to looking dead sexy, Paterson is starring in the play, A Bed Full of Foreigners, which shows at Stage West from Sept. 11 to Nov. 17. This play is a British sexual farce, which plays heavily off of Jodi’s former Playmate status.

“The play is about two couples that go on vacation to France and accidentally get assigned to the same hotel room,” she says. “I play Simone, the cabaret dancing girlfriend.”

Now you may ask, why does this play concern me as a university student? Are you serious!?! I have four words for you: Playmate of the Year.

“The play appeals to a younger audience because it’s over the top, kind of like American Pie,” explains Jodi. “I usually try not to look in the audience, but on the first night I noticed a group of 12-year-old boys sitting at the front.”

Damn, I thought that my facial hair had grown in better. Well that’s enough about the play, let’s take a drive to Playboy country.

So, you may be wondering how one goes about becoming a supremely desirable Playboy Bunny?

“I was in L.A. visiting a friend, and I heard about the millennium Playmate search,” says Jodi. “I tried out and they called me back to try out again, and this time, they asked me if I would like to stay at the Playboy Mansion, or a hotel. I was like, รข€˜I’ll stay in the mansion.’”

I’m sure that everybody has had at least ten wet dreams about parties at the Playboy Mansion, but the truth is, it’s not all fun and games.

“Hef is a workaholic. So if you have a shoot the next day, there is no way that you would insult him by staying out all night,” says Jodi. “Every year Hef has a lingerie party called Midsummer Nights. There are Playmates, movie stars, and rich people galore. But the girls who strip naked and go into the pool are never Playmates, it’s always somebody’s drunk girlfriend.”

So what is Hugh Hefner like you may ask?

“Hef is a totally classy guy, anyone who knows him calls him Hef,” says Jodi. “In the three years that I’ve been going to the mansion, I’ve seen him in jeans once.”

In the 45 minutes I’ve known Jodi Paterson, I’ve seen her in jeans once too. And that makes me happy and sad at the same time.

A Bed Full of Foreigners runs until Nov. 17, 2002 at the Stagewest Dinner Theatre. For tickets, call 243-6642.

For pictures from this interview, visit our photo section.

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