Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!

Pub crawls are generally dominated by men. I’m not sure why women don’t partake as enthusiastically; I’ll refrain from speculation, as I’d only insult members of both sexes. Hoping to encourage the girls to come out and party, the First Annual Ladies Night Pub Crawl was born. We only actually hit one Ladies Night this time out, also visiting a restaurant, martini bar, and strip joint–oh, and a shoe store.

Melrose Cafe and Bar (17th Ave.)

Our first stop was the overly trendy, beautifully decorated Melrose. While expensive for the average student budget, one meal there is worth a few days of starvation. Even tastier are the giant martinis, served in shakers, James Bond-style. Watch the prices, though, as they only start at $4.91. With fantastic service and sprawling patios, it’s a great place for a first date–though maybe not the best start for a pub crawl.

Ming (17th Ave.)

After filling up at Melrose, it was off down the street to Ming. The good folks at Ming not only know how to mix awesome drinks, but know a thing or two about atmosphere. Dark, but not dingy, small, but not claustrophobic, Ming’s stylish décor and funky lighting makes you feel cool just by walking in the door. Not the best place to get tanked, as the drinks are pricey. But, it shouldn’t be surprising that a special concoction of two or three ounces of a variety of alcohols costs more than a pint of tap-poured Canadian.

Gravity Pope (17th Ave.)

Anyone familiar with 17th will be aware that Gravity Pope sell shoes, not booze. However, our group walked by only a few minutes before closing, and noticed several amazing pairs in the window that demanded further inspection. Twenty minutes of ogling and one purchase (off the sale rack) later, we continued on our way. Only women would detour from a pub crawl to buy shoes…

Metro (Mackeod Tr.)

At Metro it started to feel more like a pub crawl. This massive, three-room bar has their ladies night every Thursday, featuring poorly-dancing naked men. With a table up close to the action–Metro staff member Dean pondered whether that was a good thing or a bad thing–it was impossible not to have fun. The one-dollar highballs helped a little too. Watching naked men dance isn’t erotic, it’s funny. Most men can’t dance, whether they admit it or not. One would think professional dancers would be a little better, however, most their dance moves consist of shaking their asses and grinding the floor. Amusing as that is on its own, when it’s a half-naked hottie dressed like a firefighter, it’s nothing short of hilarious. Every other woman in the place laughed and cheered right along with our table, tossing toonies and fives at the guys. Everyone was had fun; even the dancers seemed to enjoy themselves–of course, what man wouldn’t smile if every time he dropped his pants women cheered? Good, clean fun? Well, two out of three isn’t bad.

Speakeasy (Macleod Tr.)

While the atmosphere at Metro was lighthearted and fun, the female strip joint the Speakeasy felt dirty. Though the women on stage are gorgeous (especially their shoes) and move in ways that don’t seem quite right, half the time the men in perv row aren’t even watching. At one point, a stripper had her incredibly long legs splayed out right in front of a thirty-year-old man, but he was too busy talking sports with his buddy to even look. The more enthusiastic viewers tossed spare change, but at least they paid attention.

Service was terrible–maybe the short skirts and "tops" of the waitresses is enough to keep guys happy, but we notice when we didn’t get our drinks.

Still, it was a worthy experience. I’ve never seen anyone do that with a mesh shower sponge before.

All in all, Melrose was tasty, Ming was chill, Metro was fun and the Speakeasy was, well, a strip joint. And we all learned to never ask for change from a place with strippers.