Who’s entertaining the Gauntlet Sports Editor?

By Mike Attersall

Entertainment, what is it?

If I had to relate it to the Dinos, then it would have to be any event that was worth watching, for one reason or another. Whether it was seeing our Dinos completely humiliate their opponents, or the pure joy of being in the stands with a bunch of drunken, rowdy Rez kids, I left the games feeling satisfied and entertained not as if I had just wasted a couple of goods hours I could have better spent drinking.

Cold weather, late night games, and the missed opportunity of getting into the Den early enough to miss the long lines still could not take the fun away from the football experience. There are not many sports where you are free to bring as many noise makers as you want–including a megaphone to taunt the fatties on the opposing team, and it was fantastic to see a bunch of drunken students in full body paint wearing next to nothing, lean over the rails and yell profanity at our opponents just to get them riled up. It’s enough to make me think that heckling should be a sport in itself. Oh, and the football players did provide entertainment themselves, making a strong run all season and into the playoffs.

If warm weather is more your bag, spending the afternoon watching soccer could be it for you. For the ladies, the men’s team was stacked with self-proclaimed hotties. Players like Matt Houston, Colin Smith, and Jon Remmer to name a few. For the men–well there’s nothing more amusing than watching Andrew ‘Diggler’ Zakaluzny prance down the field, and the girls are kind of cute too. Getting out of the house and chilling with some friends is always better when there is free entertainment and a chance to get a tan. Unfortunately, the girl’s season ended earlier than expected and their chance at a national title was lost in overtime. As for the men–well they’re a nice group of guys, except for the ones that still owe you 86 bucks.

Women’s field hockey I’m sure would have been worth while–if they had played at home. Honestly, what guy wouldn’t want to go watch a bunch of girls in skirts running around. Hopefully the thought of girls in skirts does not overshadow the outstanding season the team had, a team that came closer to a championship than they had been in years.

The cross-country team followed in the footsteps of the field hockey team–by never having an event at home. But from what I hear the events are fun. At least that’s what they told me in the interesting emails I got (and the mail was entertaining in itself).

Although I did not attend as many hockey games as I would have liked, it’s easy to say that our men’s team shocked me, and made me want to keep coming back for more. In a sport that competes in a city with hockey teams in Junior A, the WHL, and NHL, the Dinos provided a cheap way to go watch some good hockey. Even our women’s team showed improvement–last season saw them win only one game while they finished fourth in the ACAC this year.

The swimmers stayed quiet but made a splash when they had to. In January, the team excited many when the crowds came out to the Canada West Championships, a meet where they became champions. They finished second in March at the CIS Championships. This will surely be a team to watch next season.

If you ever get a chance to see a basketball game, make sure you get there early enough to see the entrance of both teams, it’s something that needs to be seen. It involves a little James Brown, rattling on a garage door and a light show that puts a junior high dance to shame.

All in all it gets the crowd going and makes you laugh. Aside from the touch of Hollywood, both teams did a fantastic job in the regular season and the playoffs. Players like Anna Bekkering, Tanya Hautala, Jessica Foltinek and Lindsay Maundrell added a little spice to the mix. For the men it would have been hard to ignore Chris Wright, John Riad, Aman Heran, and Chris Harris who all put on a show for the crowd. However, out of all these players, no one got more mention in the stands than Whit Hornsberger for his outlandish play.

The track and field team did their best to get some of the spotlight, but sadly, when you don’t compete at home, you don’t get the crowds. On paper the team was impressive. Just as predicted the women finished second in the nation, and the men tenth, with some impressive individual efforts that won’t be forgotten.

With a guy who eats pure sticks of butter, it would be a wonder if the men’s volleyball team was as much fun to watch off the court as they are on the court. This team turned their season around as fast as the pace of the game they play. They provided pure suspense with the end of their season, leaving the crowds and reporters quite pleased. The women provided their own source of entertainment, wiping the floor all season long with any team that stepped into their gym, while wearing some of the tightest shorts in the land (probably the only thing better than girls playing in skirts). The ladies once again showed they could compete–finishing second in the Canada West and fourth at Nationals, just like their male counterparts. These two teams put on some of the most exciting matches on campus and hopefully next year will draw in Dino Cup size crowds all season long.

With all said, it will be exciting to see how next season will unfold for all the teams. But to be sure, the Dinos will leave their fans entertained, satisfied, and wanting more.