Swingers hit the hole

Ahhh, the cool wind in your hair feels better than the head massage that hair-dresser used to give you as he lathered the fruity-smelling salon-quality shampoo and watched you sigh in relaxation when you were younger. As you leisurely stroll on the carefully trimmed green grass, you forget about how comfortable the sink was to rest your neck on while you sunk into the reclining chair and pause to take in the sight of the last colourful leaves on the trees that beckon the wind to blow them away.

But “FORE!” shatters the silence like a softball through your living room window. (Damn ruffians.) A small, white, dimple covered ball careens over your head, landing with a thud and leaving a cherry-sized crater in the ground three feet ahead of you as it slows from over 100 mph to a stop and rebounds back into the brisk fall air. A voice from over the green hill blanketed in yellow leaves behind you yells: “Fuckin’ hole was the other way dumbass.”

The lack of response can only mean one thing: a golfer, pushed over the edge by the errant shot that nearly struck your noggin, has lost it and begun yelling at himself.

This was fortunately not the scene at the Alberta Colleges Athletics Conference Golf Championship held in Edmonton Sept. 30-Oct. 1. The Dinos men’s and women’s teams fared well, and didn’t snap under the immense pressures golf athletes must endure.

On the men’s side, Mark Rice stole the show, shooting a 70 the opening round, followed by a 74 to win the tournament by four strokes. His 70 strokes were a tournament best among the 36 competitors.

Also keeping their stroking to a top 10 level were Mike Palacz and Seiji Miyazoe, who placed fourth and eighth respectively. These finishes along with Mike Qualle and Mike Bosch, who placed 15th and 21st respectively, earned the Dinos top honours.

A 605-stroke two-day Dinos’ total was just barely enough to edge out Lethbridge Community College, who were one stroke too many. Who’s stoked now?

On the ladies side, Mount Royal College took the lowest amount of strokes and the win. The Dinos ladies did manage second place, and saw all three ladies in the top 10.

Karla Gustafson, Ashley McDonald and Aryn Flette were third, fifth and seventh respectively.

As we already know, the green grass will soon be snow-covered, thwarting the continuation of any sort of golf season. But these ladies and gentlemen can hibernate in the clubhouse for the winter knowing they kicked some ass and will be back to avenge or defend the title next season.