Natural selection was on the march Sun., Sept. 25. The Dinos men's soccer team took down the maladapted University of Lethbridge Pronghorns 3-0.
The Dinos went for the jugular in the first five minutes and were on the board. Veteran Dino Carlos "Hot Karl" Cruz scored off a set play that started with a throw-in by sophomore Dino Lauren "Bamboo" Ramos.
"There was a big scramble in front of the net and Carlos just touched down and hammered it into the net," said Ramos.
Rookie Tanmeet "Slaughterhouse" Singh smelled blood and followed up by rifling a shot in 12 minutes later. Ramos finished off the bloody Pronghorn carcass by pummeling the ball into the corner of the net in the 55th minute. The carnage was complete, but lacked some of the finesse we usually like to see.
"If you came to watch, we should give your money back," Head Coach Andy Gibbs woefully admitted. "We took a goal or two and shut the door."
Keeper Richard "Two-Minute Rick" Urbanczyk is yet to allow a goal this season.
The Dinos have started the season 3-0-0, for the first time since 1995. But they are yet to face the two teams in the league with the least turnover this season: the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds and Trinity Western University Spartans.
"Personally, I think we're 3-0 because we beat out the guys that aren't really competitive this year," confessed Urbanczyk.
UBC is currently ranked first in Canada and holds a 3-0-1 record.
The Dinos battle UBC Sat., Oct. 1 and TWU Sun., Oct. 2. Games are at 2:15 p.m. both days on the west varsity soccer pitch.