Movie Review

    
Publication YearIssue Date 
  Movie Review
August 14, 2003
  Can't we all just get along?PDF files may take a moment to load

I've been waiting for this moment for eight years. Honestly. Ever since that birthday party in grade six where we managed to get the unrated version of Jason Goes to Hell from a video store that doesn't care what movies twelve-year-olds watch, I've been anticipating this film. You see, at the end of that movie, Jason's mask sits atop a sandy surface, until suddenly Freddy's familiar steel claws pull it down to Hades. It was a sign that the clash of the titans would be coming soon.

Soon is a relative term.

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August 07, 2003
  Choropampa: The Price of GoldPDF files may take a moment to load

Mercury is a liquid metal that can be found in many common instruments, including barometers and thermometers--it is also utilized in the mining industry to extract gold and other minerals. The recommended procedure for dealing with mercury spills involves great care. For instance, Environment Canada advises spills "should be considered hazardous and should be cleaned up with caution."

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August 02, 2003
  American WeddingPDF files may take a moment to load

Watching American Wedding is akin to watching someone get hit in the groin. It's a peculiar mixture of guilt and laughter that bubbles up while watching a person writhe on the ground in excruciating pain. No complex layers arise every time someone is struck in the groin, no epiphany. Only an elusive hilarity that dissipates into the humid summer day and forgotten by dinner. American Wedding is that kind of movie.

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July 25, 2003
  Seabiscuit, see Biscuit run!PDF files may take a moment to load

"A picture is worth a thousand words" is one of the more popular fallacies in the art world. Describing the grin of the Mona Lisa is no easy feat, but if the axiom is true, then why are movies never as good as the books that spawned them? Nearly two and a half hours of 24 frames per second is a lot of pictures, yet Seabiscuit never captures the brilliance, excitement or depth of Laura Hillenbrand's spectacular book, Seabiscuit: An American Legend.

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July 24, 2003
  Spy Kids use all three dimensionsPDF files may take a moment to load

While I do not have kids yet, or at least ones I acknowledge, I can see the appeal in a kiddie movie that entertains adults too. Ninety minutes surrounded by other sticky, shrieking children can probably pass quickly when the movie is half-decent.

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July 18, 2003
  Shaolin Soccer a kick in the teethPDF files may take a moment to load

There is a special level of Hell, reserved for the especially wicked where they are play nothing but Shaolin Soccer.

As with any review, this should be taken with a grain of salt. It's possible there is some level to this joke I'm not getting, however, I don't think this movie is worth watching.

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July 05, 2003
  Read mePDF files may take a moment to load

Movies That Matter seems to have become quite successful judging by last Wednesday's turn-out for the double feature of Human Weapon and My Terrorist. The reason for such a level of participation may well be that terrorism is a current issue, but perhaps there is more. Perhaps people are beginning to appreciate non-fiction films because they present reality as entertainment as well as education.

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July 05, 2003
  Legally Blonde 2PDF files may take a moment to load

As someone who believes that Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman are among the best movies of all time, I'll admit that I was looking forward to watching Legally Blonde 2. A night out with one of the girls for a few laughs and popcorn sounded pretty good and it was obvious from the start that this would be a 'girly' movie--the entire theatre was filled with 18-year-old girls.

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June 22, 2003
  "You're making me angry..."PDF files may take a moment to load

The Ang Lee touch was what made The Hulk--and almost unmade it. His presence is everywhere, but comes through too strongly in elements like pacing, which was so languid it felt more like The Wedding Banquet than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It may fit with theme and character development, but North American audiences generally don't enjoy two-hour-and-fifteen-minute action movies.

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