What is Victoria’s Secret?

By Jackie Panera

Do you want to know what Victoria’s secret is? Women who have real lives cannot

wear the so-called lingerie that the supermodels of the Victoria’s Secret 2002 fashion show parade in.

If a woman’s occupation requires anything from a T-shirt to a pair of pants, she may have some issues wearing these seductive undergarments. If you are one of the 10.5 million people who viewed the Victoria’s Secret fashion show (the Super Bowl of fashion shows), you probably found it difficult to distinguish where the supermodels’ costumes ended, and where their lingerie began. However, if you can look past the cliche concerns over the sexualization of women and the objectification of their body parts, you may have found the prime-time infomercial quite entertaining. Frankly, watching this type of infomercial beats watching some perky athlete trying to sell a piece of exercise equipment that will eventually end up collecting dust in the basement. But like exercise equipment, if a woman ends up purchasing this smut wear, she will probably wear it once, realize that it does not have the same effect it did on TV, and shove it in the back of her closet never to be seen again.

The Christmas/angelic theme was touching and brought a lot of joy to the male world. Scantily clad supermodels such as Tyra Banks and Gisele Bundchen were decked out in angel wings, devil wings, peacock feathers, streamers, stilettos, space boots and chest-armor. If you looked close enough, you could even see that they were wearing apparel that resembled panties and bras. Archaic Phil Collins even had a place in the glamorous production, but thankfully he did not have to prescribe to the same dress code as the ladies (that would have killed ratings faster than you can say crotchless skivvies). All this show needed was some fembots to silence all of the conservatives, feminists and animal activists who bash the supermodels for their negligent displays of obscenity.

It’s no shocker that sex sells anything and everything. However, seeing that most females cannot identify with the supermodel form, why would they even bother trying to emulate them? Can’t a real woman still be considered sexy if she doesn’t try to dress up like an

angel or a peacock? Undoubtedly, viewers who tuned in were not watching this fashion show because of their profound interest in which panties and bras were “in style” for the Christmas season. But don’t worry if you missed the fashion show. According to Victoria, it turns out that silky long legs, boobs that defy

gravity, general nakedness, and the good/bad girl all rolled into one package is still deemed fashionable this holiday season.

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