By Erin Maduck
Every year at this time students question their enrollment at this fine institution. It’s easy to see why: the tuition deadline was last week, hefty credit card bills arrived in the mail to further erode bank accounts, parking is a bitch, and crowded hallways are worse. And so, students are left to wonder, is it… Continue reading University, bad points and all, are the key to success
By Erin Maduck
The modern person is supposed to embrace modern art. They should fully comprehend chaos, beauty and angst, and the wonderful ways these entities can be intertwined to create a complete picture. The more contrasting emotions involved in a piece, the better. And at the last curtain call, if the modern person is not thoroughly confused,… Continue reading Massively modern martini media montage
By Erin Maduck
At 10:00 a.m. on the morning of August 17, I was rudely snapped into reality by my clock radio. During those first few moments of consciousness my mind was overwhelmed with a large number of "significant" thoughts. How was I going to pay for my books this fall? How much longer before my Ford Thunderbird… Continue reading It’s a small world
By Erin Maduck
I am very troubled and confused about something. No, it is not school, a relationship, or any kind of hormonal outburst. I am disoriented about my general position in the work force.I have put in two long years of university education. Does this mean that I am moving up on the summer job ladder? Should… Continue reading Order up!
By Erin Maduck
People find different ways to express love. Some couples radiate love by exercising especially intense stares. Others buy lavish gifts. Many partners show appreciation through simple, physical gestures, and the rest might even have enough courage to state explicitly how they feel. But among all of these acceptable methods of mushy, romantic interaction lies only… Continue reading Everybody wants an audience
By Erin Maduck
The pulsing music invigorates your body and soul. Your attire has been strategically selected, lipstick religiously re-applied, and hair perfectly set. Hundreds of pairs of eyes dart around the dimly-lit space. They scope, scan, stare, compare, and search intently for a match. You can cast any image you want here. You can be anyone you… Continue reading I was going to call, but my, uh, gradma just died
By Erin Maduck
There is nothing like the euphoric feeling I experience the moment I travel beyond the city limits to a holiday destination. There is nothing like a new shirt. There is nothing like Kraft Dinner made to the perfect consistency. There is nothing like the adrenaline rush that praises my body after a good workout. There… Continue reading Life, what is it good for?
By Erin Maduck
I can see the fear in his eyes; the moment is drawing near. He nervously bites his nails, puts his hand in his pockets, and opens his mouth to speak. Out comes the predictable question: “Do you want to do something with me sometime?” Although my mind and body screams yes, yes, yes, my carefully… Continue reading No, I don’t want a refill
By Erin Maduck
I sat in the corner and trembled; departure time was drawing near. The sound of zippers being zipped on fluorescent Sun Ice winter coats rudely interrupted my thoughts, and I could no longer stand the constant clashing of ski boots and poles. Looking down at my faded and embarrassingly mismatched ensemble, I realized that the… Continue reading No ski bunny here
By Erin Maduck
There is only one person on this planet who possesses the ability to swiftly alter students’ moods in a matter of seconds. Although she is faceless, you know her, and you hate her. Blessed with insensitivity, selfishness, and an extremely cold heart, this woman is like the devil. The tone of her crisp voice is… Continue reading Registration Indignation