Author: Masoud

By Gavin Schafer

Imagine you’ve just challenged your friends to a race to 7-11. You bend down to tie one of your shoelaces and complete the task just in time to hear them yell "reddysetgo." They take off, leaving you the miserable task of an attempted comeback.Despite the injustice felt, you know full well you’ve used the same… Continue reading Thunderbirds too much to handle… again

By Jan Creaser

"Hello again. I’m Professor Jan Allgood and this is my colleague Dr. Brain. In this week’s edition of Wild University, we investigate a new practice that began one year ago-U of C 101: The Introduction. This first segment of footage was taken Thurs., Sept. 3 at 3 p.m. Dr. Brain, would you care to elaborate… Continue reading The Migration

By Corky Thatcher

Lady friends, please put down those YM, Seventeen and Cosmo mags andallow me to give you some valuable boy-snagging advice for the coming months.Bisexuality in females is the cool new fashion trend!It has come to my attention that today’s young women are desperatelyand unhappily short of snares, tricks and other wiles for catching the masculineobjects… Continue reading Get that Hottie

By Ben Perrin

He has been called the fundamentalist’s banker, a holy terror, a phenomenon and, more recently, the world’s pre-eminent financier of anti-American terrorism. Some liberal analysts might try to say that he is misunderstood or that he had a rough childhood-neither are true of CNN’s "favourite" terrorist Ussamah Bin Ladin. His new-found international fame is, of… Continue reading Celebrity Terrorism

By Bao Ho

The Students’ Union Library Endowment Fund is once again under the control of students.The SU Library Endowment levy, which has been collecting five dollars from every undergraduate student since its inception in 1997 to go toward an endowment fund, was voted unanimously on the Sept. 8 Students’ Legislative Council to be administered by the SU.… Continue reading SU reclaims the Library levy

By Kim Stock

It’s late at night. You’re walking alone on campus and it’s dark.Suddenly from behind, an assailant grabs you. You’re panic stricken and just don’t know what to do. Is this one of your fears? Well, fear no more, for Safe and Sound is here.Safe and Sound is a University of Calgary program that helps people… Continue reading Safe and Sound for one low cost

By Robert Granger

Who would have thought those inspiring Gaelic words on the University of Calgary’s coat of arms, "Mo shuile togam suas" (I will lift up my eyes) would so truly and ironically reflect the events of U of C 101 last Wednesday.In the middle of the Community Welcome at the Jack Simpson Gymnasium, during U of… Continue reading Lift up thine what?

By Rob South

Crash. Bang. Wallop! As this writer walks across the university soccer fields, he can almost hear the sounds of the long ball soccer the Men’s soccer Dinosaurs will force on their opponents this season. With the long ball style of play combined with a new play-off format, the use of wing-backs and a much younger… Continue reading Striking the ball Big Mac style

By Chris Koentges

Halfway through the third quarter, Nathan Thompson lay, like a beaten junkyard dog, on the turf near his own end zone.He rolled awkwardly, attempting to rise, before slowly looking up at 250 lb. Dinosaur defensive lineman Brian Shewchuk-the man who administered the latest beating-then to the scoreboard. He decided to stay down. It was the… Continue reading Kick-ass kick-off

By Mary Chan

Wendy:“The first time I walked into the Campus Food Bank I was feeling very beaten. My financial resources and personal energy were down to almost nothing. Very timidly I said, “Uh, hi, I am here to find out about a food hamper, I guess.” I waited for a disapproving look, the “oh you poor thing”… Continue reading Until there is no student hunger…